Values are interesting things. They drive us and motivate us. But, what happens when what we value is dismissed, critiqued and shamed. Our personhood suffers! We can't separate what we value from who we are as a human being and so, we feel personally dismissed, critiqued and shamed. If the value is a subconscious one it can be even more damaging. A subconscious value is like a background program running on a computer. We have to have it in order to operate correctly and can't turn it off. When we try to turn it off it affects everything. It's what we call a driving value. Accuracy & perfection is one of the most misunderstood and misused subconscious values I know of. People that value accuracy and perfection are usually high performers in their field and often critical in their relationships (maybe not outwardly). It drives them crazy when others are "lazy". Their key phrase is "If, something has my name on it, it will done right!"
Because accuracy & perfection can never be perfectly attained individuals that value it often seem critical and unhappy even with really amazing successes and results. When others push back against the expectation of accuracy & perfection the tendency is to turn the value inward and expect perfection from themselves. If this is you let me offer you hope! Accuracy & perfection can be expected for tasks but never from people including yourself! I hope you hear freedom when you read that! Don't get me wrong, pursue your value of accuracy & perfection wholeheartedly; work hard, measure twice and cut once, do hard things to improve your skills, be the best in your field and perform with accuracy & perfection just don't expect perfection from human beings. Including yourself! Do amazing things at work and complete excellent projects but don't beat yourself up over a misjudgment or miscalculation. Imperfection is human and that's where grace comes in. Have grace for yourself and for the people around you.
If you'd like to learn more about design, purpose and passion you can check out my website at www.pathwaycoaching.net and schedule a free consultation. I'd love to chat!
Until next time...
Live out your design, purpose and passion!