Updated: May 11, 2021
Do you have anyone in your life who drives you crazy? A spouse, a co-worker, a friend? Yes, it's probably the person who's name just popped into your head. What is it about them that drives you crazy? How they dress, how they communicate or don't, how they never finish projects they start or maybe their need for details and perfection? Some of the people I love most drive me bonkers sometimes! To be fair... I drive them a bit crazy too.
When I first did the Pathmaker assessment I had so many light bulb moments. It was so stressful for me to do projects with a group of people. Inevitably we'd have some that asked a gazillion questions and found all the things that weren't going to work. We'd have the people that talked a ton but didn't really say anything and some who didn't say anything at all. Some people would come up with crazy ideas that I wasn't even sure where a part of the conversation we were having. Some would wander around not paying attention to what was going on and start doing their own thing and others would step up and try to make decisions and delegate tasks that we hadn't even finished formulating yet. Oh my! What a disaster! Me... I was always in the middle trying to help everyone come to an agreement. No wonder it stressed me out! I didn't understand at that time that we all fill a unique role on a team. Our role is influenced by our values and purpose but also by how we communicate and relate with others. I've often found that we are wounded in our design. The area that we are strong in is often one that has been critiqued and that we try to stuff down and not use. I hated that I was always in the middle trying to find common ground. As you can imagine it put me in the middle of conflict and disagreement frequently. The truth is that I'm really good at seeing both sides of a situation. I'm good at communicating with people to help the see someone else's perspective. I'm actually made to be in the middle but until I learned to accept and embrace my role I just felt like I was trying to wear a shirt as pants and it was super uncomfortable (definitely not how they are made to be worn.)
The pressure is often that we must be independent and able to fill every role on a team perfectly within ourselves without the help of others. NOT TRUE! What happens when we try to do it alone is that we suppress our natural gifts and skills and work to develop new ones. Don't get me wrong I'm all in to self development and improving in my weaknesses. Actually, I'm a bit of a self improvement junkie. We all need to improve in our weak areas. The danger happens when we suppress our true gifting out of shame that we are not something else or the fear that we will again be misunderstood. The danger happens when I see potential roadblocks and problems coming and don't mention them because I don't want to be called negative for the millionth time. Or, I see a beautiful creative solution that no one else has mentioned yet and won't say it because I don't know how to make that idea a reality. The truth is that we are all created to do something amazing. We are made to be who we are and when we don't live in that truth the people around us suffer. Now, when I'm working on a project with a team of people I see potential and the ability to make something that will be successful and complete if I just take the time to truly see the unique gifts and talents of those around me.Where I saw conflict I now see potential. Where I saw disaster I now see gifting. Where I used to see roadblocks to accomplishing goals I now see unique individuals created for a purpose.
If your curious about what role you play contact me at email@example.com and I'd love to talk with you about it.